Angels!!!

On this day 16 years ago, the Lord looked down and decided He needed 2 more beautiful angels in heaven. He took two precious babies home with Him, our twin girls, Hannah and Faith. They have been missed, but never forgotten. I often wonder what they would have looked like now, or whose personality they would have. I wonder how different our life would have been if they had lived. There's a lot of wondering going on at times. There is one thing I am certain of though, that I will see them again in heaven. I just hope God will let me hold them just for a little while.

Hannah Hope & Faith McRae
September 15, 1994

Mission Accomplished!!!

For almost 18 years, okay maybe not that long, but ever since DVD' came out; I have wanted my wedding video put on a DVD. That was finally accomplished this week. Mark put our wedding video on a DVD. We watched the whole ceremony. I probably should wait and blog about this on our anniversary (the 26th of this month), but I want to talk about it now. I loved looking at the people who attended our wedding. Some are no longer with us anymore. I remember the nervous feeling I had that day, plus the excitement I felt. We both laughed at things in the video, or how long the song we picked out ended up being. My favorite song that was sung, "Forever's As Far As I'll Go" by Alabama. One verse says, "when there's gray in my hair and age around your eyes...". How appropriate now (that is not so funny). It was a lovely thing to do, watching yourself commit to one another almost 18 years ago. We told each other that we still loved and cherished the other. I am so glad to have to have this memories preserved again.

Books and More Books!!!

This month all the books I have read have either been by Carol Higgins Clark or Leslie Meier. Both are mystery writers. I love a good mystery. I have 2 more books to read by Carol Higgins Clark then I am finished with all that she has out at this time. I have lined up 2 more mystery series that I will be starting next week. The first is the Pennsylvania Dutch Inn series by Tamar Myers. The other is the crochet mysteries by Betty Hetchman. I am looking forward to starting another series by a new author. I pre-ordered Nicholas Sparks new book "Safe Haven" and it will shipped September 14th. I look forward to getting that book. If you know of a great mystery series, let me know. I also have read Joann Fluke's books and Laura Levine's in the last several books. I love to read. The more (books) the merrier I am.

Full Week!!

Well, things have been busy this week to say the least. We go to Moore County on Tueday morning and by that afternoon, my dad has been put in the hospital. My sister in law calls to tell us that my mother inlaw rehab time is up. Something about insurance. Which I don't believe,(I think since we were going to move her from there they would no longer fight for her therapy) but that is another story. We stayed Wednesday to help get things ready to move Mark's mom on Thursday to the new assisted living place. Mark and Gerald moved her furniture over while Gail and I did the business end. Then around 6 pm we left for Wilmington. Got home late and got up by 5 am the next morning. Was at the hospital before 10 am just incase they took daddy early...the didn't. Didn't go into surgery until about 3:30. Surgery went well. Only one tumor with shallow roots. Possibly no treatments, but the biopsy will determine that. A few complications after the surgery, but they let him come home on Friday with far too many instructions and mentioning way too much about getting to the ER as fast as you could for me to feel comfortable. So far this AM I haven't heard from them, so I am assuming all is well. Lots of love and support has been shown to mom and dad during this time. Mark and I have received lots of emails of people tells us that they are praying for him. I have received 100's of text asking about daddy and keeping up with his progress. It has been a full week, but I was so happy with the news from his surgery. Praying that he feels better and like his old self soon.

So Loved!!!

Sometimes in life the emotion of loneliness creeps into our life. I have experienced this more than once during my life. When you are a preacher's wife, people don't flock around to be your real friend. I have never understood this...I am not God and I don't judge you. People always say or do what they think that I would approve of, but I am human. I am not perfect and say and do things that don't please God...it is called being human. I have said all this to say that this week I have felt so much love. Since learning that Dad has cancer my friends have showed an out pouring of love and support. I have friends that love and care about me. Old friends and new friends. The response has been over whelming. Calls, cards, emails and text. I love technology. Spent most of the ride home yesterday chatting with an old friend. Known Barbara since the 4th grade. She has a calming effect on me, and helped me take my mind off things. Came home last night with hardly any gas in our tank (we heat & cook with gas). Called the gas company to leave my name, but their emergency service answered. In a few minutes a man called and reassured me that I had enough gas until today, and he was adding me to the list. Guess what? The gas employee was my friend Julie's husband. I got to talk to Jules. Haven't got to talk to her in a while. It was like God was putting my old friends in my path when I needed them the most. Reassuring me that Dad is going to be fine and they were praying. Oh my what a feeling to feel the love from friends and family.

Blessings!!!

Yesterday was such a blessing for both Mark and I. We got to go back to Mark's home church for him to preach. He answered the call to preach at Victory Community Baptist Church on March 4, 1990. He was licensed and ordained by the church, plus preached his first sermon there. It was like a homecoming of sorts. The last time Mark did any service at the church was in the spring of 2001, when he helped conduct Rev. Max A. Gilmore's funeral. Mr. Gilmore was a mentor and friend to us as we started out in the pastorate. He always had gentle words of guidance and wisdom for things that we were facing. He was always there when we needed someone to help us pray about something that concerned us in our ministry. Yesterday, the people of Victory made us feel so welcomed and loved. It was a though we had stepped back in time and had never left there. Mark and I were members from '95 to '98 when we lived in Moore County before being called to WV to pastor. What a great 2 services we had. The choir sang "The King is Coming"....one of my favorites. The fellowship was just great. We really enjoyed ourselves.

Victory Community Baptist Church

This is a beautiful stain glass that hangs behind the baptistery. One of the prettiest I have ever seen. First Baptist Southern Pines donated this stain glass when they tore down their old church. What a wonderful gift they gave.

Rev. Max A. Gilmore. A great mentor and friend...a father in the ministry. He always lovingly referred to Mark as his Timothy. He was such a Godly example and a wonderful pastor. He has truly been missed over the last 9 years. There have been times that we wanted to call and get his advice on things. We are thankful for the time that we had and for crossing of paths on this journey called life.

Delayed Christmas!!

Our Garner Family Christmas got delayed until January 1st due to snow fall earlier in December. We had to have it out at the rehab where Mark's mom is recovering from a broken hip. It was a joyous time and a sad time. Mark's mom won't be coming home after rehab this time. She will be going to assisted living. It felt a little awkward having Christmas there instead of their great room or the sun room, where all 22 of us Garner's find ourselves gathered every Christmas holiday. No big spread of food laid out by Grammy or lots of fruit and candy that Peepa had bought. There was no festive Christmas tree and none of Grammy's handmade Christmas items decorating the house. But once our family arrived and all the little babies and kids got there the awkwardness was forgotten, and the true spirit of Christmas filled the room. Little children still squealed with delight over their goodies and we all still got to spend time with each other. One heart breaking tradition was broken this year...Mark's dad didn't give out the presents. This was the first time in Mark's 50 years that his dad didn't call out the names on brightly wrapped gifts and bags. I got that honor this year....and I did feel honored as Jim (Mark's dad) asked me to do this. He has dementia, and he realizes his limitations. I felt honored, but also sad that he was relinquishing his title of "Santa" to the family to me. Along with Jessica and Anna (two of our nieces), we handed out our presents to each other. What great time we had opening and watching others open the gifts they received. The little ones were such a joy to watch, as they brought out every single item out of their bags. Mark and I fixed each great niece a huge bag of goodies. I loved watching them examine each thing that we had carefully picked out for them. They are all such a joy and delight. We have a wonderful family that just seems to take over for each other when we get tired and weary and everyone just rolls with the changes of life.

Mark's parents, Jim & Nell Garner with their great granddaughter Makynlee. Nell is still at rehab recovering, but she has a great outlook, and never complains.

Makynlee with her daddy Timmy.

This is a baby doll. No really it is our great niece Madelyn. She is so sweet. I could just eat her up. Isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen.

Jim...my father in law and my buddy. We stay with Jim during the week, and he is so funny despite his dementia. It is sad at times how much the disease robs him of some things in life, but I hope is that Mark and I are giving him a fuller life with us staying with him. I just love him to death. Peepa is in his official Christmas attire. Green sweater vest and red socks (I should have gotten a picture of them) This was my 18th Christmas in the family and this has been his outfit long before I got in the family. Everyone expects him to be dressed this way.

This is Anna (our niece) and her family. Mitchell, Mikaylyn and Autumn. I wanted to have a picture on this blog of all our great nieces. Mark and I have so much fun buying for them through out the year. Mitchell is our hunter and I give him deer reports of what I see in the back yard around the pond. I don't know why he hunts in the woods. He could just sit on the porch and see more action than he sees in the woods. LOL

Uncle Mark holding Baby Madelyn or has her daddy calls her "mini me", because she looks just like her daddy. She is the sweetest baby ever....always smiling.

This is my Sweet Cheeks, Kate. She is such a doll baby. She pulled out a book from her bag, and before I knew it...we had read it 2 times. In all the things in her bag....the "suckas" as she calls them were her best thing. She loves suckers and I just kept buying them and putting them in her bag of goodies.

Anna helps me pass out all the gifts. She is such a good helper.

Our niece Courtney...doesn't she look beautiful. She is just too sweet. We just love her so much. She is so much fun to be around, and she loves to cook. We got her lots of cookie cutters and a decorating bag with tips. Plus a couple of cookbooks. One was Rachel Ray's Kids Cookbook.

Our niece Jessica put together a family cookbook for all of us. She gathered family recipes from all of us to compile this book. It is something that I will treasure always. I can't believe she found the time to do the cookbook for us. She is married, works full time and just graduated with her 4 year degree in Business.....along with other concentrations attached to the degree (in other words, she is really smart). I love you Jessica and thank you for doing things that helps us treasure our family. Our family is unique to say the least, and not in a bad way...in a GOOD way. WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!

Seniors

Today Mark and I went to eat at K & W Cafeteria. While there we spotted a tree with tags hanging from the tree. It was "Stocking for Seniors". I had never really thought about seniors at Christmas before. All my thoughts are usually on kids. We decided to take 2 of the tags and help 2 seniors this year as well. God has blessed us so much this year and buying a sweater and jogging suit is just a small way of giving back. We hit the stores with our 2 tags and the items and sizes they wanted. It was so much fun shopping for 2 little grannies (we had ladies). We got our items and then called to see if they needed to be wrapped. They didn't, so we went to the Senior Center to drop off our gifts. I just wish I could see that persons face when they got their gift. It reminds me of the song Ray Boltz did "Thank You". It talks about things we did unnoticed on the earth, but proclaimed in Heaven. Nothing here done for fame or glory just want people to know that someone on earth cares about them. Who knows those few little items might mean the world to those receiving them. Jesus is the reason for the season, and this is a way to be a reminder to those in the world. Merry Christmas to our 2 little senior women whoever you are.

Life

This picture was taken right before we left for another pastorate. Life is ever changing and nothing should be taken for granted. I hope this blog today will help you see the significance of the little things and the big things in life.

"When you walk to the edge of the light that you have known, and you step into the darkness of the unknown. One of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or God will give you wings to fly." ~Patrick Owenton

The above quote was given to me at a "Shepherding the Shepherd" minister's family retreat in WV. At the time, I never knew how many times during life I would refer to this quote. Life has it's ups and downs, and at times it is never easy. There are times when we have gone through changes in life that we have found ourselves stepping onto something solid, and there are times we found ourselves with wings.


5 years ago we found ourselves in the darkness of the unknown and God gave us wings during this time. Mark was taken to Rex Hospital in Raleigh with a swollen hurting leg. The diagnoses was blood clots. I say clots, because there were many. Over 2 dozen in his lungs and too many in his legs to count. That September night in the ER my life flashed before me and then stopped. As the ER doctor so eloquently put the situation, "this is a grave and serious situation.". Then turned to leave us in our own shock. My heart felt heavy and alone, and I was scared for my husband. I left Mark alone to go and call people to let them know the situation. As I went through the double doors of the ER tears came gushing down my face. I made my calls, and tired to compose myself as I went back to be with Mark. ICU was our destination for the next 4 days at Rex. I left briefly to get things he needed only to be called back. He had a clot moving and heading straight for his heart. The verdict...he could die in the next 24 hours. They shared this news with only me, so I had the sole responsibility of shouldering this burden alone. To hear that the person that you love more than life itself might die is a heart wrenching experience. The clot stopped at his knee and looked to be dissolving. Things started to look up. Mark's ICU nurse was a pastor's wife, and she told me that during that time when the clot was moving never had she felt the presence of the Lord so strongly in a room. Only through God's mercy and grace do you survive this, because statically less than 5% do survive. During our 7 day stay at Rex, we found out that Mark has Factor 5 disease. A disease that just manufactures blood clots. Blood thinner would now be a life long friend. Over the next several weeks, God removed our wings and gave us something solid to stand on once again. Family and friends rallied around us, and our hearts swelled with the love we felt. Most of all, we felt the love of God. Through it all He never left us nor forsaken us. He stayed so close that you could feel His arms enveloping you as we struggled with this new unknown territory. His presence was so strong that others felt it as well. His mercy and grace were magnified through this time in our lives.


5 years have passed and for someone that shouldn't be living, Mark looks fantastic. Why did he go through all this? We don't have the answer. Only God knows the why. I know that our marriage grew even tighter and little things are never taken for granted anymore. The "it happens to other people" thoughts never cross our minds anymore, because it did happen to us. Is Mark lucky to be alive...NO, he is blessed to be alive. Luck is a game of chance, and it wasn't by chance that Mark survived...it was purely by Divine intervention by the Master Physician.


Life since then hasn't always been easy. At times we find ourselves standing on something solid and other times we find ourselves with wings. Through it all we have a God that loves us and sees us through the darkness of the unknown.

Mark on our wedding day. Thankful for the good times and bad times, the sickness and the health and the richer and poorer times that we have been through. Thankful for our 17 years together and look forward to many more years. I love you!!!