Thankful Heart!!!

This day, I find myself thankful for many things.  There are so many things that it would take me too long to list them all.  I am thankful for my salvation.  That I have the blessed assurance in knowing that my place in heaven is secure.  I am thankful for Mark.  He has always loved me and been there for me.  He is my best friend, husband, sounding board, guinea pig (I try everything out on him) and my everything as life comes at us.  I am thankful for my parents.  Thankful that they always love and support me.  Thankful for the way they raised me...I am a product of their raising.  I am thankful for my in laws.  They have all accepted me and treated me like their own since dating Mark.  I have never felt like an outsider, but part of a loving family.  I am thankful for my church family and our pastor.  They are supportive in love and prayers.  I am thankful for the life God has given us.  For the experiences we have had and for how life lessons has allowed us to learn and grow. 

To all who read this blog...I am thankful for you too!!!

Just Say No!!!

Just say NO!!!!  That is my motto to Black Friday.  One reason is that I am finished with my shopping.  I know for 12 months that Christmas is coming, so why would I wait and stress over not having enough money or spend my time running around like a chicken with my head cut off???

Spending hours staying in line and racing around massive amounts of people while grabbing what everyone thinks is a terrific bargain is not for me.  I have never seen anything on sale on Black Friday that would make me get up early and stand in line.  I personally catch sales all year long and use coupons.  I have over 35 people that I buy for during Christmas, so I have to be crafty in getting a very nice gift while being frugal.  This trick is to get something really nice and expensive for cheap.  I managed to do that this year.  I bought toys that originally cost $30 for like $5 to $10.  I watch for sales then I scour for coupons and rebates for that item.  Now for the holidays, I can take my money and do little things for people who aren't expecting anything.  So, while you are standing in line and then getting disappointed because the item you came to get is gone....I will be sleeping snug as a bug in a rug in my bed.

The Bird!!! The Bird!!!

I'm dreaming of a golden brown crisp turkey laying on a platter.  For me it is all about the bird on Thanksgiving.  Not that I am not thankful for anything, but I am talking about food (my favorite thing to talk about).  You can have the stinking green bean casserole that looks like vomit (French's just need some way to peddle those onions).  You can have bowls of heaped up mashed potatoes, trays of deviled eggs, pans of dressing and enough cranberry sauce to feed and army, but without the bird....your table is naked.  LOL  The turkey just makes the table scream, "We are having Thanksgiving dinner."  I have visions of the knife slicing through the juicy breast of the turkey, the tearing off of the leg and the golden skin (sorry Dr. Oz, a little skin won't kill you.) If that would kill you, my mom and I would be dead.  We love that golden crisp skin.  I envision mounds of turkey smothered with my mom's famous (to me it is the BOMB!!) gravy.  I will dream of sugar plums after Thursday.  Enough of this, my mouth is watering and I still have 2 days to go!!!

We found this photo in Mark's parents huge pile of pictures.  We posted it for our family to identify the people in the photo.  The response we got, "Looks like a bunch of turkeys to me...must be the Garner Family."  LOL  Sadly no one has clue to the identity of the people in the photo, but I must say those birds would be mighty tasty all baked up.

Life!!!

I recently found my senior book that I journaled in back in 1989.  I had to laugh as one page was about your future.  The things I wrote about how my life would be in 5 years from graduating high school and then in 10 years from graduating high school.  It is very evident that math is not my strong point, because my one prediction was that after 10 years of graduating I would have 10 kids and I would also be a doctor.  Either math is not my strong point as I said or I thought I really was Wonder Woman.  LOL

Life happened nothing like I wrote back when I was 18.  Actually at 21 I found myself marrying the love of my life.  The past 19 years have been an adventure to say the least.  We have served at 4 full time churches and 1 interim.  We have lost children and we have both been faced with the fact that we could die.  Mine was in 2002 when I got an infection in my blood and it was poisoning my entire body.  Mark faced death in 2004 when he had multiple blood clots in his leg and lungs.  Both these experiences changed the way we looked at life.  It is so precious and also very fleeting.  We re-evaluated the way we were living life.  How we were sacrificing our time and we set out to change things.  We are not promised tomorrow, and I am guilty of sometimes trying to cram a lot of things in a small time frame...I think due to the fact that I know tomorrow is not promised. 

During our 19 years of marriage, we have lived numerous places and have met some interesting people along the way.  We have thrown caution to the wind and jumped off and done things...some stupid and some that resulted in fun times.  As I read my senior book, I have no regrets that things didn't turn out as I had hoped as an 18 year old kid.  At 40, I think my life has turned out pretty good, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Sorry Thanksgiving, It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!!!

I know that is not even Thanksgiving and here I am putting out Christmas things.  I got my table set for Christmas and I put out my little Christmas tree that I told you about a few blogs back.  My Godmother made this tree in ceramic's.  It was actually made the year I was born, so it is only 30, I mean 40 years old.  She even gave me little boxes that she had wrapped like presents that go under the tree.  I wondered how old they were, as some feel brittle.  It is my prize possession this year.  Later today my Willow Tree Nativity (gifts from Mark and my parents over the years) will take it's place on the shelf.

I love this little Christmas tree.  It brings back a lot of memories...mostly, "look, but don't touch".  LOL  I have always loved the fact that she painted the snow on it.

This is what the tree looks like with no lights on.  It is prettier in person, but I couldn't resist taking a picture with the lights off.

The vintage elves that Nanny Sizemore gave me.  These were a very welcome surprise when I found them down in the box.

More vintage decorations.  This candles are so heavy.  I love them.  I am cherishing all the things that she gave me.



 If you know anything about me, you know that I love a bargain, and I am not shame to admit it.  People get rid or throw away great things all the time, I just hope I am there to get the good stuff. LOL  I set my kitchen table for Christmas last night.  As I was reminiscing where I got things, I realized that nothing on my table cost me over $1.  From thrift stores I got 4 chargers for $1, 4 Christmas plates for $1, two red shimmering candles, new in box, for only a quarter, pair of candle holders for fifty cent, a matching Christmas platter for $1, a set of 4 Lennox napkin rings for fifty cent (new in box), matching sugar and creamer for $1, matching salt and pepper for $1, gold placemats (6) for $1 and 6 napkins that matched my holly theme for a quarter. The table runner was in a bag sale, and the whole bag was $1.  For a grand total of $8 spent for my table decorations.  I know some people think that I spend money all the time.  Well, most of my things come from thrift or vintage stores or even yard sales.  Clothes from the thrift store hang in my closet as well as some from Belk's red dot sale (only red dot items).  I hardly ever spend over $5 for a shirt or no more than $12 for pants at the store.  This is getting off the subject of Christmas, but not really.  I recently bought a burgundy velvet dress at the thrift store for $5.  It is from Cold Water Creek.  Got it home and it still had the tag on it, and someone paid $137 for this dress and didn't even wear it.  I will be wearing it to the Christmas Tea.  Being frugal during the year allows me to do the extra little things that people love so much.  I have special Christmas projects in the works as I type this...you will see later.

My simple elegant, but cheap table. LOL

I want some glasses or maybe cups and saucers to match.  I did find some glasses, but they wanted $5 for only 4 glasses, and I refused to pay that price. It is fun to hunt and add to your treasures.



Changes, and I Don't Like Them!!!

I love this song that Patty Loveless sang several years ago, because I thought it just summed up life, and how I feel about change at times.  There is time when change brings happiness, but often it brings tears and heart ache. 

"Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain

Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?

It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry

Come, let me hold you and I will try

How can I help you to say goodbye?"

It seems lately that I have said goodbye to lots of friends, family and just people in general.  We say goodbye every time we move somewhere different.  We say goodbye to friends we have grown to love and can't imagine not seeing everyday.  Then we say goodbye to those who we will never see again until heaven.  We say goodbye to family as they move across the country.  We get scattered in winds of life. Nothing stays the same, and it stinks!!! I recently took a trip to my Godmother's, and there were 14 children in that family (my grandmother being one of them), and now only 3 are living.  Both my grandmother's have gone on.  Mark's parents are in a reverse role to where we look after them, and they seem more like the child instead of the parent.  Even our little once vibrant rambunctious little Shih-tzu is now blind and deaf.  My goodness even I have changed....I am still stinking 40 years old.  As you can see I have still not accepted this age with grace and dignity.  Just last night I told Mark that for the first time, I felt my age and pretty much looked it last night (I had a frightful experience in the mirror at Mama Fu's)  Although, I am still trying to figure out just what 40 looks like.  Change hits you all the time, and quite frankly, I am tired of the bad changes.  People who once played a vital part of our life is no longer around.  People are getting older and in some case very frail, and that just stinks as well.  But over all, change is a part of life.  Some change is good and some...well it stinks!!! I am trying to learn to not take for granted the things and ways I know now, because I never know when they will change.  But there is hope!!! Jesus is always the same.

Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever."  He is never changing in an ever changing world.  His promises are ones that we can bank on....He never breaks a promise.

So, no matter how much life changes, God is in control.  Through life's changes brings strength, determination and if we allow it; it brings full reliance on God.

In the Moment!!!

I was watching Oprah's Life Class the other day, on this particular show really hit home.  I don't always watch Oprah or agree with everything she says, but I like to keep an open mind and not alienate things; as there are some good in lots of things.

Her topic was living in the moment, and how many of us don't do this.  I immediately realized that I was guilty of this.  I can't really enjoy the time that I am in for thinking ahead 2 or 3 weeks out of other things that I have to do.  It really spoke to me because as much as I love fall, I am to preoccupied with the Christmas Season to enjoy fall and all the colors God has painted in our landscape.  I am half listening to people talk because I am thinking of where I need to be going or something I need to be doing.  I can't even enjoy shopping at a store for trying to hurry and get to the next store I am going to.  I came to the conclusion after listening to this show that I needed to slow down and enjoy the moment that God had given me.  We are not promised tomorrow, so I might as well quit trying to live in a future that I am not promised. 

Fall!!!

Fall is my favorite time of the year.  I love the vibrant colors as the leaves change from green to hues of orange, red and yellow.  I love feeling the nip in the air....although I haven't felt that too much this year.  I love planting mums (even though I refer to them as funeral flowers) and I love picking out my pumpkins and bringing out all my turkeys.

I waited almost too long to catch any really good pictures

There is still a little color left this fall

I have always wanted to rake up big piles of leaves and go running and jumping in them.  At 40, I don't see myself doing this, but I thought these leaves would make an awesome pile...if I would rake them up.

Great leaves to rake and jump in

Another thing about fall is that is starts the holiday season, and with the holidays comes fun and festivities.  I love this time of year so much.

Unexpected Blessings!!!

As we go through life, we often pray for specific things to happen.  We find ourselves praying for what we want and just how we want it to happen.  I laugh at that as I type this blog, because I can't imagine me doing that...but it so true.  It seems like we really trust God to supply our needs, but then I sit back and think how I prayed and I am really telling God just how to supply my needs.  Not sure that constitutes trust on my part.

Here is my story on this very subject.  As you know, we take of my in laws who in their 80's and have found themselves in rapidly declining health.  As you can imagine or know first hand, when old age and declining health takes place....it takes money or more money to keep up with all the bills.

We recently found ourselves with an dwindling bank account.  This was an account that we were counting on to take us through 2 years of care for my in laws.  But with 3 hospitalizations, insurance premium's, car repairs and the removal of a dead tree....our money was quickly vanishing.  

We did have an ace in the hole so to speak.  An adjoining neighbor had expressed an interest some time back in purchasing some land from us.  He was contacted that we were ready to sell, and guess what???  It takes time to sell and to also see if you can afford to buy land in this bad economy.  Our prayers have been, "Lord, please let him buy this land quickly."  We have prayed so hard the last 2 weeks about this land deal. All the while our money is quickly disappearing as one or more catastrophe's seems to come our way.  With no word about if the land is going to sell, our prayers sound more like..."Please let the man call today saying he has the money."  My sister in law calls on Tuesday, and I am anxious to hear that he had called and the sale is a go.  He has not gotten back with her, but she has other news.  There has been an account sitting around that we didn't know about that had enough money in to see us through several more months for their care.  I find myself in awe that once again God answers my prayer about the money issue, but He has His own plan of how it will be answered.  The land issue is still being discussed, but it His own time and in His own way God supplies our needs.  It was definitely an unexpected blessing!!!

Mike's Farm!!!

Last night we went to Mike's Farm with the Seniors from our church, other wise known as the Silver Threads.

Mike's Farm is this wonderful hidden treasure that sits really in the middle of no where.  When I say no where, how many people have heard of Back Swamp, NC???  It is a restaurant, bakery, gift shop, hay ride plus an agricultural education experience.

Mike's Farm is something that everyone should experience at least once in their lifetime.  The main reason I like to go is the food.  They serve you family style, which means that they bring bowls and platters of food to your table and will keep bringing has long as you want.  In a nut shell, it is a fancy way of saying it is all you can eat.  Their menu includes:  fried chicken, pork lion and gravy, green beans, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, corn and country ham biscuits...let's not forget dessert.  You can even have more than one dessert...YUM!!!

 Our Silver Thread group is waiting to get in and feast on some country cookin'.

 Getting ready for them to bring on the vittles.

A little fellowship time before the meal.

Mark and I enjoy being the senior coordinators this year.  I hope they are having a good time with us.  We have lots more outings and fun times planned in the future.



Memories!!!

I get a call that my 90 year old Godmother is selling her house, now that that she and her 88 year old brother are living together in his house.  This statement within itself just stops me dead in my tracks.  I start thinking about all the times I had spent there and the memories that flood my mind every time I walk into her house.  My Godfather, Papa Sizemore, passed away my senior year in high school, but I can still walk into that house and smell those cherry cigars he smoked.  I can still see him sitting in his chair with that cute little grin on his face.  The call is to tell me to come and get anything I want out of the house, plus the things that she has already put aside for me.  My mind automatically goes to three things I want.  Blue Boy and Pinkie statues, the white ceramic cat that sat on the hearth and a cigar box. 

Blue Boy and Pinkie stood on a table in their house for as long as I can remember.  I remember back as far as 4 years old going there.  These say that they were made in 1973.  They are ceramic.

This cat sat on the hearth of the fireplace.  She made it in 1978.  I was only 7 years old.

One of Papa Sizemore's cigar boxes.

When I think of Papa and Nanny Sizemore's home those three things have always been there. 

When I get to her house, she tells me to look around and take whatever I want.  I feel like a vulture swooping down.  It is awkward to say the least as she is standing there watching me choose and discard her things.  There are many things I want...like the painting she did of an onion crying, the paintings of lemons, strawberries and mushroom she painted when I was just a baby.  I wanted things she had made or that were special to her. 

This was always my favorite painting that she did.  The little onion crying.

Another favorite of mine.

I always thought this should have been in a children's book.  It just seems to have a story that has never been told.

The beautiful strawberries.  All these paintings were painted in the early to mid '70's.

I often wonder if seeing her paintings is what inspired me to take painting classes several years ago.  That was a stretch for me because I can't draw, but I could paint.



This is actually a painting that I did in 2004. I always liked Nanny Sizemore's wall of fruit.  I wonder if that is why I picked this to paint.

 She found me 2 cigar boxes that were Papa Sizemore's, and I promise you that you can still smell the cigars.  There were little trinkets here and there that I took.  Then she brought out my most prized possession that I took home....all her recipes.  I am talking boxes of recipes...hand written.  Some of these recipes were from family members who had left us years ago.  Some were even from my grandmother (my Godmother is my Grandmother's sister).  This is my dad's side of the family, and on that side there are little people.  When we use to have family reunions, I would be mad because these little people would not play with me....I thought they were children.  Anyway, Polly...a little person that I can remember from years past had recipes in this box....this just thrills my soul to have this treasure.

4 boxes full of recipes...lots of handwritten one's.  Recipes from our loved one's that have already gone on.  I plan on laminating some as I did my grandmother's.

  I also took Papa Sizemore's discharge and all Army papers.  They never had kids and she was so sad about where they would end up...so I took them and filed them in our filing cabinet at home. 

I had to stop several times to get myself together as we were going through a life time of memories she had collected.  She told me not to be sad, but she was enjoying seeing what meant the most to me.  After all was gotten, she said that she could have picked almost everything I took all by herself...she called me her sentimental child.  I took Papa Sizemore's valet chair.  It has always sat in their bedroom.  When he was living it always had a coat on something draped on it. I wanted these 3 insulated mugs she had because every time I stayed with them Papa Sizemore would make us a snack and he would always say, "Tracey gets the blue cup." He would pour me some coke and get out the cheese balls.  I would sit at the bar eating and chattering up a storm while he just sat and listened to me like I was the most interesting person in the world.

Then came the time when she had set aside some things for me.  One was her ceramic Christmas tree that she made when I was a baby.  I had always been fascinated with this tree for some reason.  She made it the year I was born.   While it is packed away in a box full of stuffing and shredded paper, I decided to wait until Christmas to share a picture of it. Then there was a February picture and some February angels.  We share the same birth month, and she wanted me to have these.  She turned 50 the year I was born.  I was born on the 8th and she turned 50 on the 15th.  Papa Sizemore passed away on the 14th in 1989.  Over the years Nanny Sizemore has given me things from her collection, but this was just a heart breaking experience knowing that the house I had known and grown to love was leaving the family.  I left with a van full of memories and a sad heart knowing that her house would soon be the stepping stone of new memories for someone else.  I pray that whoever gets the house has as many great memories there as I do.

Eatin' Up a Storm

There are many challenges in Care Giving, but our main challenge and constant battle with Mark's dad is eating.  He has gone from 145 lbs to 131 lbs in a year.  We struggle all the time with trying to get him to eat.  It is bad enough when we are here, but the few hours that he is by himself was really worrying us.

When it was time to go and see the doctor in September, I asked if he could give him something to help with his appetite.  He put him on megestrol.  It treats anorexic patients as well as uterine cancer.  I take the exact same thing for my cancer....this should explain a lot about myself.  When I started taking it, I was taking 24 pills a day...now I only take 1 and sometimes 2 a day.  My father in law is on 4 a day.  The pills have worked their magic.  I go to the grocery store about 3 times a week, because he is eating everything in the house.  Just this morning he had 2 eggs, 4 pieces of bacon, a sausage biscuit and a ham biscuit.  I love seeing him eat....it was such a struggle for so long to get food in him.  He does have his favorites:

Cheetos are one of his main junk foods he likes to eat.  He is averaging around 5 bags a week.  He tells me all the time, "Cheetos are my favorite."

Krispy Kreme are another staple of his junk food supply.  He eats 3 dozens of these every week.  He might eat more if I bought more. LOL

He is now game to go to lunch at anytime and eat anytime you say let's go and get a bite of something.  This one little simple pill has made our life so much easier in caring for him.  I feel better that he is eating so well now.  He has lots more energy and sometimes it seems as though the food has cleared the fog of dementia for a moment.  It has just amazed me at the turn around in his appetite, all due to a pill.

Catching Up!!!

I didn't realize it had been so long since I last blogged...over a month...almost 2 months.  I have been very busy during this time.  We are the Sunday School Directors and the Senior Coordinators for our church this year, so that has been taking a lot of our time the last few months.  I want to do the best job that I can do.  We are still care giver's for Mark's dad, who is doing great.  Traveling up and down the road every week does take it's toil on you after a while.

I have managed to go treasure hunting a few times over the past few weeks.  Our ladies ministry team is doing a Christmas tea in December.  We are on the hunt for fancy dishes, tea cups and teapots.  Here are some that I found this week.

 I loved this cute teapot, and it was a steal at only $2

This dainty tea cup was a must have at only $1

I can't wait until we put on this tea.  It is going to be so elegant and a relaxing time for the ladies of our church.  I love it when we do nice things for people.

I know that I have mentioned those sweet babies...I can't wait to see them.  They are growing like weeds.  I can't wait to hold them and snuggle up with them.

This is one of my favorite pictures of them.  Hopefully, I won't wait too long to blog again.  I will try to keep up a little better.