Saying No to a Second Chance!!!

I was watching a TV show where a woman had the chance to have another baby.  Her one and only child is about to graduate high school, and now this chance to have another baby is staring her in the face.  Her answer is no, and she offered  no explanation why she didn't jump at this second chance; but I understand how she feels.

In 1994, we had twin girls that didn't come home.  Then in late 1995 once again I was disappointed when I miscarried twins.  I vowed then that I wasn't going to try again, that the pain and my emotional state was too fragile to do this again...only to be disappointed.  There was a longing of wanting a child for many years, but it was always filled with hugs and love from children in our various churches.  I had finally accepted the fact that the pitter patter of little feet would not grace our home.  In some ways not having children had its advantage....could go to Walmart at 3 in the morning, go on vacation and not worry about school schedules, no worries of braces or how to pay for college.  Then in 2006 I was diagnosed with uterine cancer.  Then the choice was no longer mine, but now...I can't have children...or so I thought.

That summer my Oncologist told me that if I biopsied negative 3 times in a row, we could talk about having a baby.  The first two biopsies were negative, and now this dilemma was staring me in the face.

This was a chance that I should have jumped at...been thrilled beyond all measure, but I wasn't.  Now I was 36 years old and by the time we actually had a baby, Mark would be 50 years old.  Not to mention that in 2004 he was diagnosed with Factor 5 blood clot disease....to which is a genetic disease.  Our baby could be born with this only to die at a young age.  I physically or emotionally didn't think I could go through another loss.  I felt guilty for deciding that my answer would be no.  I never did really tell anyone that it was no...because biopsy number 3 was positive and the dream was shattered once again.  I can understand a woman deciding not to have a baby after so much time as passed.

I love the life that God gave me....although I often wonder what if??? But I am completely satisfied with loving on my nieces, nephew and the kids of our church.  So don't think hard of someone if they don't jump at a person not jumping at the chance to have another baby, they may be completely at peace with their decision.

Obsessed to Say the Least!!!

I have said over and over that I am ADD...although I have never been tested, but I know that I have to be.  I focus on one thing for a moment, then I am off to another thing.  Right now I am obsessed with cowgirl boots.  For someone who is scared of horses, I am in the western look right now.  I finally got my grey cowgirl boots this week thanks to my mom.

 

 

As you can see....I am just a tiny bit obsessed.

 

 



I haven't worn the grey ones yet, but I can't wait to wear them with some denim leggings.  I now have some grey, brown and red boots.  Plus some black and brown low top boots.  I really not sure what has brought on this obsession except for the fact that I watched Dallas this year.  That might have driven me to go for a look that is totally not me...usually.

Through my obsession, my main goal was to get a pink pair....I finally found these on the web and I plan on ordering them tomorrow for myself.  I just love the pink ones.  Since I have lots of pink clothes, I thought I would have no problem matching them up with something.  This is just a glimpse of how my brain works. 

Christmas in Heaven!!!

My First Christmas In Heaven


I am having my first Christmas in Heaven
A glorious, wonderful day!
... I am standing with saints of all ages,
Who found Christ, the truth and the way

I am singing with the heavenly choir
I- who so loved to sing!
And, oh what celestial music
We bring to our Savior and King

I am singing the glad song of redemption,
How Jesus to Bethlehem came,
And why they called His name Jesus,
That all may be saved through His Name!

Oh, loved one, I wish you could be here!
No Christmas on earth can compare,
With all of the rapture in glory,
I witness in Heaven so fair!

You know how I always loved Christmas,
It seemed such a wonderful day,
With all of my loved ones around me,
We were so happy in every way.

Yes, now I can see why I loved it,
And, oh what a joy it will be,
When all of my loved ones are with me,
To share all the glories I see!

So, dear ones on earth, I send greetings,
Look up! Til dawning appears,
And, oh what a Christmas awaits us,
Beyond all our partings and tears!
Anonymous

 

This was the first Christmas in years that I haven't talked or gone to see Nanny Sizemore.  I will admit that during the busyness of the season, it didn't weigh on my mind much.  But this past week, I have really missed her.  As I learn new recipes or figure out a way to make things simple when cooking...I would call her and share my new found knowledge.  I thought a lot about her last Sunday when we cooked breakfast for our Sunday School class...normally, I would have called her and told her all about it.  I would have called her and describe all my cookware that I received for Christmas this year.  It is hard to say that I wouldn't want her back, because she was in great health and had her right mind...she was self-sufficient...until falling out of the attic.  The only reason I wouldn't want her back is that she is finally with Papa Sizemore and I know she has longed for 24 years to see him again.  I also wouldn't want her back if she was going to decline in health.  I know that her first Christmas in heaven was spectacular.  Although at times, mine was a little sad...especially when I wanted to share something with her, but I know she is having a great time.  Just missing her a lot right now.

 

It all Comes Down!!!

Today's weather was an improvement over yesterdays.  It was cold, but the sun was out and it had dried out.  I took this opportunity to take down my Christmas decorations.  First the ceramic tree followed by the Willow Tree Nativity. Then came my big tree.  I got little mini totes to put all my ornaments in....I went to buy a big tote to put the mini totes in...didn't happen.  I couldn't find exactly what I wanted.  I am finally getting all things down and put in its proper place.  Still got my big outside wreath, greenery and my Christmas flags.  It is nice to have the house back in it's original state.  I love Christmas, but I am ready for the New Year and praying for a great 2013. 

The Day After!!!

Usually I am relieved the day after Christmas...that usually means no more chaos or running here and there.  Usually things calm down the day after Christmas.  Today was not what I wanted the day after....tornado warnings.  I am very scared of tornado's.  While the technology has improved...still you don't really know when and where they are going to hit.  The winds were blowing and the rain pelted the house.  It was messy outside to say the least.  I spent the day putting up my Christmas presents, sleeping and watching some movies.  It was leftovers for us today, and I am officially sick of turkey.  I kinda want a steak or anything but turkey or ham.  I ended up cleaning my vanity and organizing all my perfumes.  After spraying several of them it was too stuffy to continue for a while.  Finally around 3 pm the warnings were lifted and sun came out a bit.  I want to take down my decorations, but it has got to dry out a bit.  Organizing things and getting ready for next year.

Christmas!!!

 

This is what I got this morning from my hubby.  Oh, he hasn't seen naughty yet. LOL  I recently got a plaque from a friend that read, "Dear Santa, I've been really good the last couple o weeks...can we just focus on that??"  Evidently, he didn't focus on those last couple of weeks...he must have looked at the whole year. LOL

 

 

 

I asked for a set of pots and pans this year and this enamel cast iron pot.  I love cookware for someone who doesn't cook much, but that is about to change.  I am going to cook more and eat out less.  I am going to try and save more money this year...we eat out a lot, and most time we use a coupon; but it still adds up.

 

 



 

A great day with another great meal with my parents.  So full and a little miserable now, but everything was so good....especially the collard greens.  They are the #1 item they sell at the NC Farmer's Market on Christmas Eve.  Truly a Southern thing.  It has been a wonder Christmas season this year.  Looking forward to a great New Year.  Hope that everyone that reads this blog (all 2 or 3 of you) were blessed with great times with family and friends and made more memories to tuck away. 

 

Merry Christmas to your family from me!!!

Feasting!!!

This is our family tradition on Christmas Eve.  Tonight was no different.  It was only fish and shrimp this year, but I loved it.

 

It was super delicious.

 

Uncle Harold and Aunt Carolyn came and helped us celebrate.  There is nothing like family  gathered around a table enjoying a great meal, and mom can put on a great feast.

 

 

Aunt Carolyn enjoy some boiled shrimp.

 

The men folk dig into the feast.

 

 

Mom and dad open a gift...an invitation to go get library cards...oh the joy of reading!!!

 

Abby was such a good little doggie!!!

 

I got an enamel cast iron casserole.  I love it, and can't wait to cook in it.

 

 I got Dot and Tova perfume.  Two fragrances that I have wanted.

 

 

Lot more presents were exchanged, and as I came home I tried everything on....everything fits!! It was a great time and I love our family tradition on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Sunday!!!

It is not Christmas day, but the Sunday closest to Christmas day.  It has been a jam packed day.  We started off by cooking breakfast...or should I say Judy cooked most of it..for our SS class.  They said it was delicious!!!  We didn't eat.

 

Adult II Sunday School Christmas Breakfast!!!

 

 

Then after a quick lunch (plus some shopping) at Cracker Barrel, we made it to one other store we needed to go to....then home.  Got in a quick nap before going back to church for the Christmas Cantata.

 

 

The adult choir!!

 

Mark was the narrator

 

 

A great day, but I am tired.  I am closing with a picture about Christmas that sums it up perfectly.

 

 

 



 



Winter Sun!!!

Yesterday was the first day of winter.  As I was sitting at my computer surfing the web a flash of color outside caught my eye.  It was the setting sun through the trees.  It looks like the sun was on fire through the trees.  I had to capture this beautiful sight.  I grabbed my camera and ran outside.  Glad I did once inside the scene was gone and it was almost dark...yesterday was the shortest day of the year.  Enjoy the pictures.

The End???? Really???

According to the Mayan calendar the world is suppose to end today.  So far...nothing!!!  I have seen so many things on Facebook about this for the last month.   The sad part is so many Christians have actually bought into this myth.  The Bible is very clear about who knows about the end of the world.

 

No one knows the date and hour....only the Father knows.  So why do people think Mayans would know???  People will believe anything but the Bible...they say it is a fairy tale, but they think these ancient people know when the world is going to end.  I say they got tired of writing out a calendar and that is why they ended with 12/21/12.  I am not sure how far our calendar now is printed to, but if we stop with 12/31/13 that doesn't mean the world will end. 

Dogs Rule!!!

A few weeks ago, our aging Shih-Tzu, Lilly had a terrifying episode.  She was rolling on the floor with her back on the floor and feet spread.  She couldn't stand.  Mark quickly picked her up for her to stand, and after 2 attempts, she finally stood on her own and went and got in her bed.  This led us to one conclusion...call the vet.  We are thinking that we might have to put her down.  She will be 13 years old in January....we cried all night long, and checked on her excessively.  The next day at 4 would be determining our future with our behold companion.  Got to the vet after she had a galloping good time down our hall....so I was feeling good about the visit.  Time the vet touched her, she did this high pitched squeal like a child...the vet immediately let go of her.  Again she touched her, and again this high pitched squeal comes out of this little dog.  Then I touched her, squeezed her paw and rubbed on her....nothing.  She is watching the vet, and has her hand got close to Lilly....the high pitch squeal started.  Dr. Joni just went on and examined her all while this ear piercing squealing is coming out of this black and white fur ball.  The diagnoses....some muscle loss in her back legs and a slight heart murmur.  The vet said that all this was on a level for a dog about 7 or  8 years old...at 13 it should be worse.  But the real diagnose was...she is 99.99% SPOILED.  I paid $50 to be told something that I already know???  She told us that Lilly would be with us many more years to come.  She is still Lilly, the Shih-Tzu with the attitude.

After a trip to the groomers.  She is just as dramatic there as she is at the vet's.

 

Doing what she likes to do best...sleep!!!

She is sacked out again!!!

 

She just barely lets her nose peek out from the covers.

 

Going for a ride...not her favorite thing.

 

Looking regal and like royalty.

Bucket List!!!

While I love our Christmas traditions that my family has long established...I dream of an old fashion Christmas.  I would love to experience it just once in  my lifetime.

 

 

It is one thing on my bucket list that I hope will become a reality one day.  I would love to be able to rent a cabin in the mountains (with snow) and have an old fashion Christmas. I would love to go out into the woods and cut my own tree.

 

I picture sipping hot cocoa while listening to Christmas music in front of a roaring fire.  Relaxing in a soft robe after a long bath in an old fashion claw tub.

 

I would spend my days stringing popcorn and cranberries to hang on the tree.  Puzzles would be put together and snow angels would be made.  The cabin would be filled with the smell of Christmas goodies baking.  Christmas music, good books  and a hand picked selection of Christmas movies would be our entertainment.  Making Christmas ornaments and crafts would help fill my day.  Homemade soup would warm our bodies at night after a day playing in the snow.

 

There would be sleigh rides through the woods and caroling galore.  Days and nights would only be filled with Christmas activities.  I would love to participate in the local activities where we rented.

Then Christmas Eve would find me at the little country church hearing about my Savior's birth.  I would love going to a midnight service on Christmas Eve sometime.  Christmas morning we would open gifts while wearing our fuzzy pajama's...and then everyone would be called to the table for a big country breakfast.  Reading from the bible about the birth of Jesus before digging in.

 

I pray that God will grant this desire one day.  I get almost misty eyed thinking about how wonderful this would be.  One thing on my bucket list that I hope to accomplish one day.

 

Is It Really Me????

A year and half ago, my husband and I started Weight Watchers.  To date I have lost 67 lbs.  I will admit that the last little bit, I have strayed and have not been that strict.  I do count points...I just don't add them up...LOL  I am committed to get back strict after Christmas.  I have come too far to back slide and give up....I want to lose at least 40 more lbs.

 

This is me Christmas 2010 before starting Weight Watchers in June of 2011.  I would love to say that I didn't gain any weight after this picture, but put close to 20 more pounds on me...and that would be me when I started WW.

This is me Christmas 2012.  I have to posted before and after pics from time to time to keep me motivated.  I will keep fighting the battle of bulge until I have won.

Garner Christmas 2012

The 15th of December found all 22 of us Garner's gathered at Peepa and Grammy's for our Christmas celebration.  Everyone arrived with smiles and a bit of Christmas spirit.  No one had the sniffles or felt bad.  We let the food roll, the fun begin, the memories start cranking and a flurry of paper flying.  This was the first year that Mabry and Morgan got to join in the fun...and fun they were.  All 7 little cousins played very well together and had the time of their lives.

 

Davis and Peepa have on the same outfit.  It's Peepa's traditional Christmas attire.

 

Makynlee loves tearing into presents.

 

 Rebecca and Madelyn

 

Everyone is tearing in to gifts.

Sometimes the tote that brought the presents is more fun.

 



Digging in to all that food.

 

 

 Mabry sits with Peepa

 

Kate waits patiently

All the great grands.

 

 

Peepa and Grammy